Daily Reading

A Second Chance
CHAPTER 17
The Moment of Truth
Śukadeva Gosvāmī continued: After hearing the discourses between the Yamadūtas and the Viṣṇudūtas, Ajāmila could understand the religious principles that act under the three modes of material nature. These principles are mentioned in the three Vedas. He could also understand the transcendental religious principles, which are above the modes of material nature and which concern the relationship between the living being and the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Furthermore, Ajāmila heard glorification of the name, fame, qualities, and pastimes of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He thus became a perfectly pure devotee. He could then remember his past sinful activities, which he greatly regretted having performed.

Ajāmila said, “Alas, being a servant of my senses, how degraded I became! I fell down from my position as a duly qualified brāhmaṇa and begot children in the womb of a prostitute. Alas, all condemnation upon me! I acted so sinfully that I degraded my family tradition. Indeed, I gave up my chaste and beautiful young wife to have sexual intercourse with a fallen prostitute accustomed to drinking wine. All condemnation upon me! My father and mother were old and had no one to look after them. Because I did not take care of them, they lived with great difficulty. Alas, like an abominable lower-class man, I ungratefully left them in that condition.

“It is now clear that as a consequence of such activities, a sinful person like me must be thrown into hellish conditions meant for those who have broken religious principles and must there suffer extreme miseries.

“Was this a dream I saw, or was it reality? I saw fearsome men with ropes in their hands coming to arrest me and drag me away. Where have they gone? And where have those four liberated and very beautiful persons gone who released me from arrest and saved me from being dragged down to the hellish regions?

“I am certainly most abominable and unfortunate to have merged into the ocean of sinful activities. But nevertheless, because of my previous spiritual activities, I could see those four exalted personalities who came to rescue me. Now I feel exceedingly happy because of their visit.

“Were it not for my past devotional service, how could I, a most unclean keeper of a prostitute, have gotten an opportunity to chant the holy name of Nārāyaṇa when I was just ready to die? Certainly it would not have been possible.” (Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 6.2.24–33)

Repentance
Having heard the conversation between the Yamadūtas and the Viṣṇudūtas, Ajāmila became firmly fixed in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. He began to lament, “How unfortunate I was to engage in so many sinful activities!” This is the proper attitude for a Kṛṣṇa conscious devotee. Whatever he may have done in the past, no matter how sinful, when he comes in contact with devotees and hears transcendental topics in relation to the Supreme Personality of Godhead (bhāgavata-kathā), he becomes purified and laments his previous condition. Indeed, the symptom of his purification is that he laments having behaved so sinfully. He repents and discontinues his past grievous conduct.

Ajāmila was now at the stage of devotional service in which one is freed from all material impediments and is completely satisfied (ahaituky apratihatā yayātmā suprasīdati). Having reached this platform, Ajāmila began to lament for his past materialistic activities and glorify the name, fame, form, and pastimes of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. One who takes to Kṛṣṇa consciousness naturally endeavors to follow the rules of devotional service, and he regularly chants the Hare Kṛṣṇa mahā-mantra: Hare Kṛṣṇa, Hare Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa Kṛṣṇa, Hare Hare/ Hare Rāma, Hare Rāma, Rāma Rāma, Hare Hare. A person should not suppose that because he has taken to Kṛṣṇa consciousness he can continue his sinful activities and have their effects counteracted. We have repeatedly warned that this is the greatest offense against the holy name. Like Ajāmila, one should repent, “How unfortunate I was to engage in so many sinful activities! But now, by the grace of Kṛṣṇa, I have come to know that I was acting improperly.”

Thus Ajāmila greatly repented, remembering all his sinful activities. He remembered that he had been trained by his father to be a first-class brāhmaṇa, that he had been educated in the science of the Vedas, and that he had married a beautiful and chaste wife, a girl who was innocent and highly qualified, having come from a respectable brāhmaṇa family. Ajāmila now lamented, “I rejected her and accepted a prostitute, an abominable drunkard!”

It is a Vedic regulation that men of the higher classes – brāhmaṇas, kṣatriyas, and vaiśyas – do not beget children in the wombs of lower-class women. Therefore the custom in Vedic society is to examine the horoscopes of a girl and boy being considered for marriage to see whether their combination is suitable. Vedic astrology reveals whether one has been born in the brāhmaṇa class, the kṣatriya class, the vaiśya class, or the śūdra class, according to the three qualities of material nature. The horoscope must be examined because a marriage between a boy of the brāhmaṇa class and a girl of the śūdra class is incompatible; married life would be miserable for both husband and wife. Of course, this is a material calculation according to the three modes of nature, yet it is important for the peace and prosperity of the family and society. But if the boy and girl are devotees, there need be no such considerations. A devotee is transcendental, and therefore in a marriage between devotees, the boy and girl form a very happy combination.

Ajāmila thought, “Because I failed to be self-controlled, I was degraded to an abominable life and all my brahminical qualifications were nullified.” This is the mentality of one who is becoming a pure devotee. When one is elevated to the platform of devotional service by the grace of the Lord and the spiritual master, one first regrets his past sinful activities. This helps one advance in spiritual life. The Viṣṇudūtas had given Ajāmila the chance to become a pure devotee, and the first duty of a devotee is to regret his past sinful activities in illicit sex, intoxication, meat-eating, and gambling. Not only should a devotee give up his past bad habits, but he must always regret his past sinful acts. This is the standard of pure devotion.